THE TRUE MEANING OF SELF-WORTH. BEYOND THE BS AFFIRMATIONS.
Self-worth has been getting a lot of attention lately, usually used synonymously with self-love. But, let’s discuss - what is the REAL - NO BS way of looking at self-love?
What it’s not is bubble baths, wellness routines or building yourself up with BS bolstering statements to try and make yourself feel “good” about yourself.
Real self-worth is about cultivating a level of self-awareness that many are too afraid to seek out.
I am talking about seeking to understand the aspects of self that are hard to love and sometimes ugly. To dig deep - past the exterior sparkle, beyond the raw and right to the core hidden truths where all your vulnerabilities lie.
Looking into who you are, your WHOLE self is step one. Next you need to start to see it as worthy, to acknowledge it, accept it AND better yet love yourself for it.
This practice is called “shadow work”. To see the shadow aspects of self and understand why they exist and how to work with them. To accept them as part of the unique person that we are and that ALL aspects of yourself are worthy, even if we choose to keep some hidden.
How to do it?
Start a list where you write out, not “I am loveable” “I am beautiful” “I am worth more” or any of that bullshit, but rather the dark things… I am jealous. I am insecure. I am fat phobic. I am judgmental…. GET REAL, nobody else has to see it. Write it and tear it up if you must. But once you know those shadows, ask yourself, which (even if it’s just one) are you courageous enough to be transparent about to your best friend or partner? Which are you ready to admit to yourself and others and start cultivating compassion and understanding for?
I had a colleague admit to me:
Yep I have a God complex. I grew up wealthy, educated and thought I was the duck’s nuts.. In the back of my mind, I generally assume I am better than most people.
So, acknowledging his truth, he stopped the judgment around it. Humility is something he practices but he still accepts his innate self.
If you WANT to be connected and truly loved for who you are, then you have to endure the discomfort of being known and have the willingness to show all aspects of yourself.
So challenge yourself. Can you start to love these parts of yourself that may not be socially acceptable and are difficult to love?
It starts with you, cause first you have to love yourself if you are hoping for anyone else to.
How to build an unshakable relationship with yourself