BELIEFS are BS.

How to challenge your beliefs and see alternate “Truths”

We all hold inherent beliefs that have been formed through experience and conditioning. These are our roadmap for “truth”. But, as we all know, our beliefs are just that, a belief or internal story that is not even necessarily fact let alone truth. 

It’s our responsibility to grow by questioning them. Beliefs should be flexible, not rigid. They need to be adaptable, shifting when new evidence or insights arise. The ability to change our beliefs is a vital part of personal growth. The challenge is to recognise when our beliefs no longer serve us and are ready for transformation. 

HOW TO CHALLENGE

I can’t go past suggesting the exercise - “Judge your neighbor” by Author Byron Katie.

Using her exercise, we identify our belief, call them into question, test out alternatives and only then are capable of effectively responding.

Take the time and DO the exercise. Write it down and truely connect to the reality shift!

PROCESS OUTLINED

STEP 1

What’s happened (in your current reality)?

Think of a specific, concrete moment in time that you’ve experienced — like a conversation, meeting, or exchange that you’re upset about. 

With that clear in mind, ask yourself: 

1. In this situation, who angers, confuses, hurts, saddens, or disappoints you, and why?

2. In this situation, how do you want him/her to change? 

3. What do you want him/her to do? 

4. In this situation, what advice would you offer him/her? 

5. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need him/her to think, say, feel, or do? 

6. What do you think of him/her in this situation? 

7. What is it about this person and situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?

Now question each of your statements to the questions above, using Katie’s 4 questions. 

STEP 2

Challenging your beliefs

1. Is this belief true?
   (Answer "yes" or "no." If "no," proceed to the next question.)

2. Can you absolutely know it's true?
   (Answer "yes" or "no.")

3. How do you react — what happens — when you hold onto this belief?

4. Who would you be without this belief?

STEP 3:

Now TURN IT AROUND. 

Here we are aiming to find alternative “truths” and test them out to feel what might BE more true. It’s about experimenting - trying on alternatives. 

When you begin to see a stressful, painful situation from a variety of different perspectives, we loosen our grasp on “the truth” and start to lessen our stress, anger and resentment and start building compassion. It helps give us perspective which sometimes feels impossible when the feelings are so high. 

STEP 4:

What NOW ?

Without judgement to yourself or others - let’s reflect on where we got to and what we need to do next.

• Is there a need I don’t have met that I need to address myself?

• Is there a conversation that needs to be had?

• Where can I step up to work on myself rather than demanding change from others. (Suggested reading - How to work on yourself) .

RECOMMENDED READING:
Loving What Is, Revised Edition - Byron Katie with Stephen Mitchell