We all want to stay forever young, but here’s the thing: growing up is unavoidable.

Everywhere I look, people are grappling with adulthood like it's a dirty word. We’re obsessed with youth, sure, but the real issue is the growing negativity around “adulting” — as if being an adult is a choice you can (and should) just ignore or avoid.

We push kids to hit milestones and be independent, yet when it's time for us to step up, we start looking for the exit. It doesn't add up.

So, what actually makes us grow up? What does it mean to be an adult? And how can we change the narrative from “growing up sucks” to “embracing adulthood”?

The Irony of Growing Up

As kids, all we want is to grow up. As adults, we just want to stay “young” and avoid the responsibilities that come with it. There’s no official "welcome to adulthood" ceremony, and the line between childhood and adulthood is blurrier than ever. Add economic pressures, social expectations, and a lack of clear cultural milestones, and it’s no wonder so many adults are struggling / not wanting to take ownership of their lives.

We’re in this weird perpetual "Peter Pan" phase, running from responsibility. Oxford even named "adulting" Word of the Year in 2016, defining it as “the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult.” Yes, there’s now a word for paying bills, doing laundry, managing your finances... the mundane stuff that keeps life from falling apart, but also, becoming EMOTIONALLY MATURE and responsible for your BEHAVIOUR and reactivity. Demonstrating less impulsivity and growing the capacity for delayed gratification.But let’s be real: that stuff doesn’t have to be miserable and in fact Radical acceptance and radical responsibility for DOING the stuff and your mindset around it is actually what being a “grownup” is.

Adulting: The Reality Check

Adulting doesn’t just mean handling the basics — it means radical responsibility for your life. Being an adult is not about being perfect or avoiding mistakes. It’s about taking ownership, even when you screw up, and learning to live life by your values. It means practicing humility, not being defensive, not having tantrums, not overconsuming, getting enough sleep, moving your body… all the things.

Here’s how to truly grow up:

Responsibility:
Adulting means juggling bills, keeping a job, and making dinner without calling your mom. If you want change, you’re the one who has to make it happen. More so, you have to keep on doing it. Consistency creates change and allows growth.

Relationships:
It’s about building deeper connections, communicating with empathy, and letting go of fairytale expectations. Relationships take work and that’s part of being an adult.

Decision-Making:
Maturity is about making choices without being paralyzed by perfectionism. It’s ok to make mistakes, as long as you're making progress.

Awareness:
Know your values and emotions, and let them guide your choices. Don’t wander through life like a lost tourist.

Adaptability:
Life throws curveballs. Maturity means rolling with them, not sitting around waiting for a “redo.” Practising acceptance and learning to respond rather than react is part of growth.

Emotional Independence:
True adulthood is about being okay on your own — emotionally and mentally. Stop relying on others or things to fill the void within yourself.

Play:
Yes, play. We often ditch it as we get older, but it’s crucial for our well-being. Staying curious, creative, and a little bit silly helps keep us grounded.

The Final Point

Society may not give us a “welcome to adulthood” manual, but we all have to grow up. Sure, some parts suck (hello, taxes!), but here’s the kicker: growing physically is out of our control. But how you grow up — mentally, emotionally, and psychologically — that’s entirely your choice.

So, stop running from it. Embrace it. Adulthood doesn’t have to be a four-letter word.

TEDx: Johnny Crowder - How to Grow as a Person (And Why It Sucks)

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TEDx: Tabitha Dell-Angelo - Act your Age! How and why to play like and adult.

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