RADICAL ACCEPTANCE AND HUMILITY
Yep it’s the end of May and here it is… Radical acceptance and Humility.
Life got in the way and there is no big reveal. But that is kind of the reveal in itself? Sometimes the best made plans don’t work out and you have to accept that and keep going.
I have been working on a piece for most of the month but more pressing work came calling. I am a crisis management therapist. I work to be with clients at their time of need. The “shiny things” (like social media, newsletters and invoicing), while valuable, are not my priority. I prioritise my clients. In doing this I have to accept that other areas in my life/ business may take a backseat. Each day/ month’s 100% is going to look different and I have to be ok with that.
So I am being candour with you, taking ownership of my limitations this month and not fluffing it. Yes, I am a therapist, but I am also a human living the “human condition”. Let me ask you, would you prefer a therapist that masks their experience and sits on a soapbox preaching, or someone who is radically honest and shows how they too are in the weeds of life doing the daily practice of living in alignment with your values?
So this month our BULLetin asks…
When do you keep pushing and hold yourself “radically” accountable and when do you surrender and pivot?
Sometimes the issue lies, not in the action or lack of action, but in the story we hold about ourselves or others because of it. I work with a lot of addicts, clinically anxious and depressed patients as well as couples who struggle with these concepts. Struggle to see how honesty and acceptance of current circumstances are powerful tools in the ability to connect to yourself (and others) and start making changes. It’s hard to do and definitely something this workaholic struggles with, yet I persist.
I have always been a ‘go hard or go home’ person and I truly believe the only way to get anywhere is to persevere and build the discipline to thrive, however, sometimes you do have to notice that your current trajectory is not bringing about the results you want and step back and be open and willing to do things differently.
Because of the work I do I get exposed to other peoples’ suffering daily which honestly is helpful in not getting too caught up with my own BS but it’s also helpful to notice when you are “outraged” (be it internally or overtly) by cumulative events that transpire. The idea that this “shouldn’t” be happening to me or shouldn’t be happening in the world generally (war, suffering, exploitation) or to someone else and the reality is THIS IS the HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
I practice an NLP exercise utilising two words… OF COURSE.
How to practice neuro linguistic programming daily
To me “radical acceptance” includes accepting what I can and cannot change AND accepting that not a single one of us is ALL good or ALL bad but we are fundamentally ALL FLAWED and that is the human experience. My love of modern and ancient history, I feel, helped me navigate many of life’s challenges (eg. death of my father in my 20’s, personal health issues, financial crises, covid) and not catastrophise too much or buy into too much of the drama. Contrary to popular opinion, MOST events are not “unprecedented”. In fact in my experience MOST are very significantly PRECEDENTED and of course its ok and in fact appropriate to feel the pain of certain events but then to also realise, the only way out is through and to accepting life moves forward regardless and so must you.
I have spent hundreds of hours with people who have navigated wars, loss of children, personal terminal diagnoses and so much more and when you sit across from these amazing humans and they are still able to be IN this life and extract joy from everyday moments it helps keep things in perspective.
Life is difficult… and still beautiful.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering in optional.
Movement is medicine.
I recommend educating yourself further on these concepts and try to implement them into your life.
Radical acceptance: The ability to fully accept things for how they are instead of ignoring, avoiding, or wishing the situation were different, can be a critical step in moving through a difficult experience to experiencing more meaning.
Radical acceptance.
Humility: The ability to acknowledge all one's imperfections, gaps in knowledge, and limitations and not be driven by emotions.