Discovering your Values
Cut the BS: How to Identify What Truly Matters to You
Your No-Fluff Guide to Finding Your Core Values
Look, discovering your values isn't some cute self-help exercise. It's the difference between living YOUR life and accidentally living someone else's. They're your core drivers, and if we aren’t clear on them, we are navigating with a broken compass—you're gonna end up lost AF.
Ready to figure out what actually matters to you?
What You Need
Something to write with (and no, your phone isn't ideal - grab actual paper)
20 minutes where people won't bug you
The balls to be honest with yourself
The Process
Step 1: Start With What Pisses You Off
Yeah, you read that right. We're starting with the negative because it's often the fastest route to truth.
1. Write down 3 things that make your blood boil when others do them
2. Ask yourself: "Why does this trigger me so hard?"
3. What does this tell you about your non-negotiables?
*Real Life Example:*
If you lose your shit when someone cuts you off in a conversation, maybe "being heard" or "respect" are core values for you. See how this works?
Step 2: The Good Stuff
Think about times when you felt like a complete badass. When you were in your zone:
1. What were you actually doing?
2. Why did it feel so damn good?
3. What values are hiding in these moments?
Step 3: Pick Your Values (No Pinterest-Perfect BS Required)
Here's a list. Circle the ones that make you go "Hell yeh!"
Step 4: Get Brutal With Your Choices
Pick your top 5 from what you circled
Play "Values Thunderdome" - pit them against each other: "If I could only keep one, which would it be?"
Keep going until you've got your top 2-3 ride-or-die values
Step 5: The Reality Check (Time to Get Real AF)
For each value that made the cut, ask yourself:
1. Is this actually MY value, or am I people-pleasing?
2. When's the last time I actually made a decision based on this?
3. Where am I currently betraying this value in my life?
What Now?
1. Put these values somewhere you'll actually see them (phone background, bathroom mirror, whatever works)
2. Use them to make your next big decision
3. Check in every few months - are they still your ride-or-die values?
## The PSS POINT
Your values are your personal BS detector. They're why some things feel right in your gut while others feel off, even if you can't explain why. Use them to:
Make decisions without second-guessing yourself
Stop caring about other people's "shoulds"
Finally feel like you're living YOUR life, not someone else's version of itThe Hard Truth About Values
BUT …. values are NOT a magical formula. There's no "right" set of values (they just need to be yours). Values need fine tuning, changing with life. What mattered at 20 might be irrelevant at 35. Keep checking in: “Are these STILL my values?”. But most of all - remember …. Living your values often feels uncomfortable AF. Growth isn't cozy. It’s standing up when it's easier to sit down and having tough conversations when you'd rather ghost. But actions from alignment are REAL and working TOWARDS the life you want.